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WEEKLY QUOTE: Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, Something is out of tune.

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The Pain in My Chest

Saturday night or i should say morning Rachel glanced at the alarm clock

It was 3:15 am again

This was the 5th night she was waking up at exactly the same time
Waking up to the same sharp pain
she pushed herself out of bed, to the bathroom
Opened the wardrobe at the top of the mirror
Popped two pills (tylenol)
Her eyes were burning red
Thinking to herself
I am tired, oh sooooo tired of this pain
It won’t go away
I have tried everything
This pain in my chest, i have taken every pain pill i know of
Nothing worked
This pain in my chest, i tried to drink it all away
All i got was drunk with empty bottles of pinot noir
This pain in my chest, all the sweet words of my loved ones
Won’t heal it.
Ok! she thought tomorrow is sunday, i am going to pray this pain away
Early sunday morning, she got dress in her best skirt suit
Made her way to church
Even though she has not been there in months
She prayed hard
Asked God to take this pain away
Sunday night/ morning, 3:15 am she was up again
This night worse than the others
Felt like someone was squeezing from the inside
She staggered to the bathroom, popped two more pills
She called her doctor, Sorry to bug you this late doc
I need to come in the morning
I can’t seem to shake this pain in my chest
Monday morning
Grabbed her cup of coffee
Got into her car
plugged her iPhone
Fired up her Favourite playlist
Music will make me feel better she thought
Emeli Sande, Snow Patrol, Jessie J, Natasha Bedingfield, Frank Ocean
She socked in every single lyric as she drove to the doctor’s office
Series of exams later
She sitting in the waiting room
Fidgeting, biting her finger nails, paranoid
Freaking out
Do i have some kind of condition?
Am i going to need surgery?
The doctor came back with the results
Would you step into my office he says
Now she’s shaking, hot and cold all at once
Doc opens his mouth to speak and she closed her eyes
waiting for the worst
I don’t know how to say this but
Rachel, there is nothing wrong with you physically
I’m sorry but i think it is all in your head
I suggest you go see your therapist
“You want me to go see a shrink” she snapped at him
Thanks for your time doctor,
she stormed out of the office
Heart racing
the shooting pain was back
She rushed to her car, tears in her eyes
She sat down for a few minutes
Her head on the steering wheel
She put her palm on her chest
She let her mind flash back through the last one week
Thought of all that happened
Events that she suppressed and blocked out
As the memories flushed back, the pain worsened
Then she realised it
It was her heart, nursing this pain in her chest
Poor Little Rachel
Her precious heart was broken.

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