The Pain in My Chest
Saturday night or i should say morning Rachel glanced at the alarm clock
It was 3:15 am again
This was the 5th night she was waking up at exactly the same time
Waking up to the same sharp pain
she pushed herself out of bed, to the bathroom
Opened the wardrobe at the top of the mirror
Popped two pills (tylenol)
Her eyes were burning red
Thinking to herself
I am tired, oh sooooo tired of this pain
It won’t go away
I have tried everything
This pain in my chest, i have taken every pain pill i know of
Nothing worked
This pain in my chest, i tried to drink it all away
All i got was drunk with empty bottles of pinot noir
This pain in my chest, all the sweet words of my loved ones
Won’t heal it.
Ok! she thought tomorrow is sunday, i am going to pray this pain away
Early sunday morning, she got dress in her best skirt suit
Made her way to church
Even though she has not been there in months
She prayed hard
Asked God to take this pain away
Sunday night/ morning, 3:15 am she was up again
This night worse than the others
Felt like someone was squeezing from the inside
She staggered to the bathroom, popped two more pills
She called her doctor, Sorry to bug you this late doc
I need to come in the morning
I can’t seem to shake this pain in my chest
Monday morning
Grabbed her cup of coffee
Got into her car
plugged her iPhone
Fired up her Favourite playlist
Music will make me feel better she thought
Emeli Sande, Snow Patrol, Jessie J, Natasha Bedingfield, Frank Ocean
She socked in every single lyric as she drove to the doctor’s office
Series of exams later
She sitting in the waiting room
Fidgeting, biting her finger nails, paranoid
Freaking out
Do i have some kind of condition?
Am i going to need surgery?
The doctor came back with the results
Would you step into my office he says
Now she’s shaking, hot and cold all at once
Doc opens his mouth to speak and she closed her eyes
waiting for the worst
I don’t know how to say this but
Rachel, there is nothing wrong with you physically
I’m sorry but i think it is all in your head
I suggest you go see your therapist
“You want me to go see a shrink” she snapped at him
Thanks for your time doctor,
she stormed out of the office
Heart racing
the shooting pain was back
She rushed to her car, tears in her eyes
She sat down for a few minutes
Her head on the steering wheel
She put her palm on her chest
She let her mind flash back through the last one week
Thought of all that happened
Events that she suppressed and blocked out
As the memories flushed back, the pain worsened
Then she realised it
It was her heart, nursing this pain in her chest
Poor Little Rachel
Her precious heart was broken.
My Words, My Thoughts, My Life, My Friends, My Work, My imaginations 
I have been here. Not too long ago. My hopes were dashed by a text. I had planned my entire life around him. See what ladies,you build your life around God’s plan alone,when a man comes…he must fit into it. If not,don’t go ahead…ur heart’ll just be broken. The Holyspirit has been healing me,not drugs or running crazy for a mere mortal. There’s an Immortal being,love on him and the right love will come around.
yes o! tell em dear. so true. your broken heart will heal with time k?
I am currently inventing a pill for Rachel. Will cost an arm and a leg literally
I know right… Pple will pay too
I think its amazing how that your subject matter is always relevant (to me at least). You always manage to find the right words to tell a story that resonates not just because its interesting, but because its what I nd almost every other person on the planet has experienced. You keep getting better tai-lo. Interesting read and enough suspense to keep my thumb scrolling to the end. xxx
Thanks Torera… Means a lot
This pain I have felt through parts of my life.. I never understood it and went through the same exact thing… What I found was not something absolutely something I didn’t realize but something I feel we still have such a far way to go to understand.. The pain turned out to be my soul mates pain.. She was in a bad way.. Her pains that she felt were pains that put me on my knees somedays.. I thought I was dying.. I thought I was having a heart attack… When you have met your soul mate the vibrations of the connection places you both together in a way that can’t be described because we all live so disconnected.. This is not something we believe because we have grown so far apart in science and in this current way we teach each other… I have experienced so much of this.. That all I can tell you my friend is you are very close to finding what few have no idea is true… If you take a step back and truly listen inside it will point you to this person… I wish you love and I wish you luck! This was beautiful but it spoke to me in a place that it not of this world… :)
Glad my words spoke to you
Deep!
I tried to translate it to human… sorry :)
Lovely write up! Absolutely wonderful….
Thanks dumaybe
Have had Rachaels’ ‘illness’ before. Promised myself it’ll never happen again! So far so good.
Hugs 2 u Rach,u’ll get over it!
Thanks Rowie!!
Nice!!!
Awwwwwwww it must really hurt her real bad. Nice one sweetie. Keep it up. Hope 2 read more from u.
Thanks chee… More coming
Nice piece
Thanks sister
Nice one! Beautifully written. My heart was thumping throughout the read. Well done :D
Bongy ;)
Thank u
Heart break na bastard.
Lol yea it is
Imagine instead of me to be preparing 4 work I’m reading ur blog. Beautiful sorry 4 Rachel. And u too if I’m late today.
Hahaha thanks babe!
Hmmmmmm……
I was intrigued from start to finish..
Beautifully unpredictable..
This is simply intense
You keep getting better!!!
Thank u ma
You just had to say what I had in my head before I typed it eh?
Tiff…
Lol… What did they say about great minds again?
lol!
touche
Awwwwww beautiful write up, thumbs up tai-lo
Thanks Zainab